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| I love him but I just want to shoot myself.. | | |
| Why are guys so stupid? Huh? And just such an asshole! GAH..
I wish sometimes i knew how to hurt him as much as he hurts me..
But then I realize, I love him, and I don't really want him hurting.. | | |
| Sometimes I just want to hit my head against the wall because of how aggravating he gets sometimes.. He gets under my skin so well, but he can't make me stay mad at him for so long.. I want to kiss him and do so much things to him, but Christ, he is just so.. virginy.. I mean, I'm a virgin too (I don't count rape as being sex) but oh my god, I want to jump his bones.. He says he wants to do the same to me, and sometimes I feel that in his kiss, but.. I guess I'm just so self-concious..
He's gotten into this new habit of grabbing the back of my neck or the side of my face with both his hands and kissing me so passionately.. How would he expect me not to want to just strip his clothes off right then and there? I usually climb on top of him, straddling his lap for a little bit, but then he/I get flustered because he's back living with his parents again, sooo.. yeah.. Sometimes I've been teasing him (since he just told me how to tease him and I found a few ways to add to it) and his voice gets all husky like he's going crazy without me.. One time, he pulled me on top of him and kissed me passionately while he ran his hands down my body.. It was extremely sexy.. But then he'll stop, as if his mind caught up to him and he realized he's not ready yet.. But oh my god, he teases me so much with his kiss and he doesn't even always know..
I haven't written in here for so long.. It's crazy..
I love you guys, if anyone is still here <3. | | |
| I hate it when I think up an awesome new xanga entry, and I totally forget what I wanted to write <_<.
Well, right now, it's 4 a.m., and I can't go to sleep again. Only this time, it's not because of pain, it's just because I can't settle down.. Bleh, lame on my account, I suppose....
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| Wow, it's been a bit ^^.
Well, the guy I talked about before, Marius/Chris Cool? Yeah, we've been going out for over a month now =3. It's been going great so far, just kind of hit a weird patch right now. I haven't heard from him in over 36 hours, and it's starting to worry me >_<. I mean, I know why (he's having to work on I think 2 projects and a paper), his phone is dead, he's getting his charger today for his phone, and he's pretty depressed =/. I'm very tempted to just drive up to see him, but I'm feeling pretty sick, soooo that's kind of out of the question completely.
I was having an issue recently about Chris, that of course I didn't tell him anything at all about, but it seems so little to fuss about, especially since I've done worse =/. I was actually in tears about it last night, andugh.. I finally got myself over it, after worrying and overthinking it for a couple of weeks now. It was a comment I found on datingish, and it just made sense. No matter what we did in the past, or who we did it with (not just sex, other things), we chose each other now. No matter what happened in the past, we are constantly saying to each other, "my significant other is the one I want to be with." Whether we think about it or not, we are choosing to stay together and to be with each other every second. I love him, and I know he loves me, and that's all that matters to me right now =].
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